I want to learn French or Latin. Unfortunately Ateneo Davao only offers American and Asian studies. I know there's Mandarin lessons, but I want to learn French, or Latin!! German too, I'm fascinated by the funny way they speak. Arghhh. My Bucket List needs updating.

I have a broken dream.
I know what you're thinking..I'm 16, how could I possibly have a broken dream? The dream, you see.. is to have read 100 books in a year. And I don't think that's possible anymore... I should have taken the challenge back in high school.
I've read a little over a hundred books now, but that was throughout the course of 5 years. I want 100/365. My eyes are getting warm.

I showed Valerie my Twitter/blog photo, and she was like, "Dude, that has Jeleena's style written all over it."
Crap. This is why I should never expose myself to other people with whom I share the same interests. I can't help it! Writing, music, even vanity shots! ugh. I hope she doesn't get mad at me or something...sigh.

I am hella insecure.
It's pretty obvious, when you know where to look...
Take debate for example. When I'm talking, I look at the floor or the walls, and when people raise points I cover my face and tend to speak superfluously. It's one of my bad habits whenever I speak in public. While thinking of what to say next and how to say it, I'm also 'surreptitiously' taking glances at the audience and thinking about what they think of me, aside from the things coming out of my mouth. I guess that's why my dad got me into this thing, to help me get rid of my insecurities. I love you Daddy!

I find solace in solitude, I don't like being with a lot of people I barely know--which is weird, because how are you supposed to let someone get to know you when you have all these walls, right? Yeah well whoever breaks down those walls is gonna have to be someone worth my friendship. I'm an awesome friend. I'm loyal, I listen, I'm there when you need me, but I also need a friend, too. I hate being the one who always does everything. So I figured, if a lot of people I've come to know let me down, how different could these new faces I see be?
Rhymage! o.O I never rhyme!!
Anyway, the other reason I have few friends is that it takes time for people to get used to me. I'm moody, corny, hilarious, mean, thoughtful, loud, easily irritated, annoying, helpful, and generous, among many things. A lot of people find it hard to get me. There were these times in elementary and highschool, where I would have no friends at all because everyone in class hated my guts(through those times I learned liking being alone), but after some months, they decided to see past my imperfections, and accept the fact that although I am this and that, I have a good heart.
I'm sorry, did I come off too proud? Sorry, I know myself too well.

I don't like my classmates, I can't be friends with them. One of them, the most prominent one, has very strong opinions, and often we clash. I save my arguments for debating, so I shy away from letting my voice be heard when I'm with the person. And they're non-religious! I was so appalled by their rudeness yesterday when I went to the chapel with them, they walked straight into the aisle, looked at the altar, and went for the exit up front. Geez, if you wanted to go to that end of the building, you could have went for the path outside! But nooo, you just had to be rude and pretend like the aisle was a mere sidewalk! And worse, I was part of that...thinking you were going to pray or something. Please, show some respect to the Man!

I'm sorry, but I'd rather be all alone deep in my thoughts than to be caught dead with people whose beliefs I have been raised to avert from.
Now don't get me wrong, ha. I have aetheist friends, and I like them because they don't think they're better than God, or disrespect Him, they just, have principles not taught by the church. But with them... God isn't the center of their lives, and they think too highly of themselves. Even if they were Muslims and very religious(just nonviolent), I'd befriend them and go all out with being nice,(like Rania, whom I used to dislike because she liked to literally hold on to people, and when she did that on the first day of school i was like, woah, back away! please don't touch me!...and she did, and now I love her. ; ]) but they're too full of themselves. They're like me, without God. Empty. Just noise, making no sense at all.

Hey, ho. You have to know.
I'm on a roll with this whole rhyming thing.lolz
I'm not manul with my school uniform. It just so happens that at home I don't care how I look like. I don't care if my hair looks like hay, or if my face isn't even-toned. Going out requires too much effort, so whenever I look decent, I make the most out of it. It just so happened that I look decent all the time in school, where I wear my uniform 4 days a week.

tired - 2019-08-18
- - 2019-06-20
- - 2019-06-20
041619 - 2019-04-16
LB - 2018-10-02