If you came across this and you get offended by what I’ve written here, you can’t hold that against me because (1) starting Oct 10 I’ve changed/omitted names and (2) this blog is 100% unpublicized. I’ve done nothing to advertise or invite people to read about me talk about things that happen to put people in a bad light (but like Taylor Swift says, you shouldn’t do bad things) because (3) this is literally a diary, only it’s online because my law-student hands are always too tired to write things down, and so I’m figuring out my life like this. Okay? Okay.
posted on 2022-07-14 10:57 a.m. by Vanessa
I just wanted to talk about yesterday’s Homily by Fr Aik Muang, SJ. It was about pride and humility.

An empty cup has room for tea. A cup that is full can no longer take it.

I have to admit that I don’t know everything, since I am not the main character of my life… only then will I be able to receive whatever lesson this whole thing is supposed to teach me. Yesterday I was blown away when I realised that I am in something I wasn’t exactly praying for, but definitely prayed about: Poverty.

Over Lent I listened to this priest talk about how poverty teaches us many things. And for so long I always told myself okay, I’ll spend less. But I never did. I always went overbudget: case in point, what happened in June. I said yes to literally everything, made a lot of good memories, but I’m literally living pay check to pay check now, and I’ve still got a long way to go. I’ll get more money in September 13. Two months away. Right now I literally am unable to save because I’m finally feeling the effects of borrowing money from my own savings.

No more iced coffee or after-work treats for now. It’s fine. I just have no extra money, but I can still pay for everything. Today’s lunch cost me 40 bucks: bananas, eggs, and coffee. Tomorrow I’ll have something more filling. Everything is okay. Come August 1st I’ll get 3,500 in electronic gift certificates so I can buy food. So basically I’m only scrounging for 2 weeks. It’s fine. It’s fine.

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